I know you are all expecting photos from our trip but you are not going to get them today. Probably not tomorrow either. But maybe. Today my heart is full and I wanted to share it with you. Today I feel blessed, happy, thankful and cherished.
Felicity is coloring with an orange marker on a paid bill on the floor that should really be vacuumed. Wes is napping in his race car bed that was given to him, in Tonka sheet that were given to him for his baby shower. Paisley is dozily watching Felicity from her curled up spot in a bag of books that I was supposed to bring to a friend today. And I am writing on a table to was given to us in a chair that was given to us in a kitchen that is cozy and cluttered. Too much stuff in not enough space.
We have been given so much in the past few years. When Matt and I were married, we literally did not have a pot to pee in, literally! A light blue gray toilet was soon given to us with a matching peda-stool sink. We love them both still today. We did not have a furnace, a sink or lights in most of our house. We had no shower or pots and pans but we had each other. I used to bring my dirty body and dishes to my mom's so we could all be washed. Three weeks later, we installed our shower and it was so lovely! We were happy. Even when we had to walk together in the rain across our swampy yard in the dark to use the port-a-potty before bed, we were happy because we had each other. I remember cooking Matt a meal of on a kerosene heater and a toaster oven and then eating it together on our bed, because we did not have a kitchen or a table. We split grease on our quilt and it smelt bad. Stained it permanently. I remember crying when I dropped yet another glass dish on the bathroom floor when trying to washing them in a bluish gray ped-a-stool sink. I remember the absolute joy that filled me when we got out furnace 3 months after we were married. It was Christmas Eve, I will never forget it.
Back then we had so little. Just each other and love, lots of love. We had dreams and plans and lots of love. Our home was chilly but it was full of love. Today our home is full of stuff. Toys scattered across the uneven wooded living room floor, Pots and pans hang from their hangers and books over fill their shelves. We have plenty.
God has provided for us every time. We needed a refrigerator a man gave us one from a bar he used to own. Wes was out growing his crib, a bed was provided. We had no stove, then a building burnt down and a stove was saved, Matt's father drove by and asked for it. The Lord provided. Our washer and dryer were given to us by two different families, who had an extra or bought new. Most of the kids clothes have been handed down to us along with most of their toys and books. God provides.
I have just been thinking about all that He has done for us. How He provided us with a home to shelter us and then continued providing when we found out that a baby would soon be joining us in our very much unfinished home. He is faithful.
I write this with such a feeling of love and contentment. I feel so loved and not only by my Heavenly Father but by the man He made for me. By the children He has blessed me with and by the family He has placed me in. I am loved. I am blessed. I don't ever want to loose sight of these blessings. I don't want to forget how far we have come, but I sometimes do. I don't want to want something so badly that I forget what I already have, and yet I do. My God is faithful and has provided us with everything that we need. Today I am so thankful. Thankful that I have been given so much that I can share with those who need it, thankful that I am loved, thankful that I am tired at the end of the day and have a cozy place to sleep. Thankful that my children can walk and are healthy, thankful Matt is crazy about me, thankful, just so very thankful.