As I write this I am exhausted, grumpy, and glad the kids are in bed. Today was hard. Really hard. Felicity has learned how to fight with Wesley. Wesley doesn't like it. There has been lots of screaming going on in our house lately.
He screams...she screams...she screams...he screams louder.
I'm tired. When I get tired, they seem to get louder. Why is that?
It is on nights like this that I make a point to breathe, hug them, kiss them, and tell them I love them before we tuck them into bed. And I remember less noisy days.
When we laughed and played outside in the sun all day.
And no buddy was grumpy.
Don't misunderstand this post. I love my kids like crazy. And they love each other to the point that they drive each other crazy.
They light up when they see each other and ask for each other when they are apart.
They are my treasures and I cherish them. Together Matt and I cherish our treasures from God.
But today was hard and hard days make for early bed times and Mommy unwinding.
How do I unwind?
I sit on my sagging brown couch with a tall glass of ice cold chocolate milk and my lap top. I look through months worth of photos.
I see my children's happy smiling faces. I remember those moments. Those happy, funny, everyday moments. The not so stressed out tired moments.
I remember that not all days are this hard. That even though they seem to last forever. They end. They turn into better tomorrows. And tomorrow is full of surprises.
I like surprises. I love my babies! I love them even more than I did yesterday. I thank God for them. They fill me up with so much love and happiness.
So even on days like today, when I couldn't get them to bed fast enough. When I could not wait to just sit, use the bathroom alone, talk to Matthew, and unwind. I thank God for every single minute I have with them. The good minutes, the smelly minutes, the screaming minutes, the happy minutes, the sad, grumpy, tired, laughing so hard you can't breath right minutes. I love them all.
Ahhh... now I feel so much better. Tomorrow is going to be a better day and you know what? Even if it isn't...I still have my precious babies and they love me and I them. There will always be hard days, long hard days but there will be many more happy days.
Thank you Lord, for happy bare foot days and even for these harder ones. Thank you.
I am so very greatful for all my days!